


Secret Admirer

by AlineLovelace



Category: Schitt's Creek
Genre: F/M, I hope y'all enjoy it!, I wrote this one for Valentines day, usually I don't post this often but, which is tomorrow
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-13
Updated: 2021-02-13
Packaged: 2021-03-13 22:34:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,239
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29409141
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AlineLovelace/pseuds/AlineLovelace
Summary: David and Stevie help Alexis come up with a plan to get Ted back.
Relationships: Theodore "Ted" Mullens/Alexis Rose
Comments: 4
Kudos: 16





	Secret Admirer

Alexis threw open the motel lobby door and dramatically draped herself across an armchair. Stevie and David barely glanced at her as they continued their conversation. Waiting a few seconds, she gave them the chance to ask what was wrong. Thinking that they didn’t notice her enter, she sighed loudly, giving them a second chance. Still no reaction. “I think Ted really likes Heather,” she finally said. 

“I didn’t even realize you were in here,” Stevie replied. 

David looked at his friend, pressing his lips together to hide his smile. “Can we help you?” he asked, turning to face Alexis. 

“How can I get Ted to break up with Heather?” 

“Um, isn’t she like, Dad’s age or something? She’ll die soon and you can have Ted,” he answered. 

“Okay, but I don’t want to wait that long.” 

“You can’t hurry love. You just have to wait,” Stevie deadpanned. 

“Love don’t come easy,” David continued. “It’s a game of give and take.” 

“Super insightful,” Alexis told them. Stevie and David exchanged an incredulous look. “But isn’t there anything I can do like now? It’s getting really hard to work with Ted, like super awkward.” 

“I don’t think we’re the right people to talk to about this,” Stevie said. “I mean, look at us.” 

“I’m actually in a stable relationship, thank you,” David notified her. 

“But you don’t know how you did it.” 

“Shut up.” 

“Guys!” Alexis whined. “Obviously I’m desperate since I came to you. Help me.” 

“You could always work somewhere else,” David suggested. 

“I need the money to go to college. Ted pays me well and it’s not a hard job so...” 

“Valentine’s Day is in a week,” Stevie commented. “Maybe you could buy him something nice.” 

“Or, you could buy him a couple nice things and give it to him like a secret admirer,” David said, adding to Stevie’s idea. “People love secret admirers.” 

Stevie pointed at David and nodded. 

Playing with a piece of hair, Alexis looked up at them. “Do you think it’ll work?” 

“Absolutely,” he reassured her. “But just in case, you should show us the gifts and little notes ahead of time.” 

Stevie grinned. “We’ll make sure everything is perfect.” 

“This is like a great idea, but how does it help me get Ted back?” Alexis asked. 

“He won’t be thinking about Heather anymore,” Stevie explained. “He’ll be trying to figure out who’s sending him things.” 

“He’ll probably start questioning his relationship with Heather,” David chimed in. “And then you slip in and take her place.” 

Alexis nodded, a smile growing across her face. She stood up, giving them each a tight hug. “I’m shocked you guys could even come up with anything. Thank you!” 

“You’re welcome?” Stevie questioned. 

“I need to start shopping, so I’ll see you both later.” 

“Are we really that bored?” Alexis heard Stevie ask David as she left the motel lobby. 

“She’s stupid. It’ll be hilarious to see what she comes up with, trust me,” she thought she heard David reply. 

Frowning, she shook her head. The stress from having to be around Ted all day was getting to her, making her hear things, she decided. 

Climbing into the car, she turned the key in the ignition and headed for Elmdale. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 

The next morning at 8:00 a.m., Alexis strolled into the motel lobby. David followed close behind her, almost tripping over her when she stopped. “So, I have my first present for Ted ready,” she said, smiling, holding a tiny silver gift bag in her hands. 

“Can’t wait to see what’s inside,” Stevie replied. 

Setting it on the desk, Alexis pulled out a tiny box and opened it. “Animal paperclips!” She removed a dog-shaped one, making it run across the desk. 

“Okay, you were completely right,” Stevie told David. 

“About what?” Alexis asked. 

“That you’d find something perfect for Ted. Animals, since he’s a vet,” Stevie improvised. 

“Exactly!” Alexis put the paperclip back in the box, then the box back in the bag. 

“Did you write a note to go with it?” David questioned. 

She nodded, pulling out a folded slip of pink paper. Clearing her throat, she read it aloud. “Roses are red, violets are blue, your butt is cute, and your face is too. Your secret admirer” 

“And that’s completely original, right?” Stevie managed, trying not to laugh. 

Alexis nodded proudly. “David told me I should speak from my heart.” 

“Well, David’s advice was very good.” 

“I think the note just makes the present even better,” David remarked. 

“Really?” Alexis twisted a lock of hair around her finger. 

“I wish I could be there to see him open it,” he said. 

“I’d pay to see the look on his face,” Stevie added. 

“You guys are the sweetest.” Alexis put a hand over her heart. 

“Go!” David shooed her away. “Go to work so you can give it to him!” 

“Don’t let him know it’s you,” Stevie reminded her. 

Alexis gave a little wave before disappearing out the motel lobby door. 

************************************* 

Peeking in the entrance to the clinic, Alexis surveyed the area. She spotted Ted in the examination room, getting ready to give a dog a shot. Quickly, she dashed to the reception desk, hiding the present in a drawer. 

When Ted came into the waiting room with the dog, he gave Alexis a smile. She smiled back, watching as Ted talked to the dog’s owner. As the dog and its owner left, Ted walked up to the desk. “You’re here earlier than usual,” he commented. 

“Yeah-“ she paused, thinking of a reason why. Coming up with nothing, she left it at that. 

Ted’s brows crinkled together in confusion for a split second. “Heather is supposed to be calling, so let me know if she does.” 

“Yep!” she answered in an overly chipper tone. 

After an early morning rush, Alexis placed her gift on the counter and waited for Ted to emerge from his office. “Is this for me?” an elderly man standing in front of the desk asked. 

Alexis shook her head, pulling back the bag. “Um, can I help you?” 

“Yes, I’m paying for Peanut Butter’s checkup.” 

“Is that who Dr. Mullens is walking out right now?” 

The man nodded. 

“And it’s just the checkup, right? No medicine or treats?” 

“Just the checkup.” 

Alexis rang him up. “Fifty-five dollars.” 

He swiped his credit card and as they waited for it to process, Ted gave the man Peanut Butter’s leash. The machine chimed and the man removed his card. “Have a great day,” Alexis chirped, giving the old man a little wave. 

As the door shut behind him, she turned to Ted. “Someone brought this in for you,” she lied, pushing the gift bag toward him. 

“Was it Heather?” 

“No, it wasn’t Heather.” 

“Did she get you to say that?” 

Alexis shook her head emphatically. “Some lady came in and told me to give this to you. I didn’t get her name.” 

He held both hands up in defense. “I believe you.” 

Pushing past the tissue paper, he pulled out both the box and the note. “Ooh, what is it?” Alexis asked, pretending to be curious. 

“I don’t know yet.” He opened the box, smiling when he saw the brightly colored animal-shaped paperclips. “These are perfect for the office. No more of those boring gray paperclips.” 

She bit her bottom lip to keep from smiling. “That’s cool and thoughtful.” 

“Let me read the note: ‘Roses are red, violets are blue, your butt is cute, and your face is too. Your secret admirer.’” 

Alexis poked his arm. “Wow, look at you, with your secret admirer.” 

“Yeah, I wonder who it’s from,” he replied, looking at her pointedly. 

“It’s a mystery; isn’t that fun?” 

“Mhm.” 

“Well, good for you, Ted Mullens.” 

“And you don’t know who brought it in?” 

She shook her head. “She was like really pretty but that all I remember.” 

He chuckled softly. “Well, I’m going to take my lunch break. I’ll be back in fifteen.” 

******************************************** 

“I think he really liked it,” Alexis told Stevie and David back at the motel. 

“Well, what did he say?” David asked. 

“Well, he said the paperclips were perfect for the office.” 

“No comment on the note?” 

She shook her head and David frowned, exchanging a glance with Stevie. “What do you have planned for tomorrow?” Stevie questioned. 

“Okay, so I got this cute t-shirt that says ‘Trust me, I’m a dog-tor’ on it,” Alexis answered. “And it has a little dog dressed like a doctor.” 

“Oh, wow...” David said. “That’s a thing that exists.” 

“You’re sticking with an animal theme then,” Stevie remarked. 

Alexis nodded. “He’s a vet so he loves animals.” 

“That checks out.” 

“And the secret admirer note?” David asked. 

“Um, I just googled a bunch of puns and put them together. ‘You’re paws-itively amazing. Pugs and kisses, your secret admirer’” 

“So this one is clearly dog and pun themed,” David noted. “A bold idea.” 

“And you really ran with it,” Stevie added. 

Alexis smiled. “Thank you.” 

David choked on a laugh. “No... no problem.” 

She clapped her hands together. “I can’t wait to see his face when he opens it.” 

“I feel like we’re really missing out on a big part of this,” Stevie told David. “You know, the good part.” 

David sighed. “I’m well aware.” 

“I’ll mimic the face he makes when he sees it,” Alexis assured them. “You won’t be missing anything.” 

“Except certain social cues,” David whispered. 

“What?” 

“I’m just disappointed I can’t see the real thing.” 

Alexis stuck out her lower lip. “Me too. But it would be super obvious if you guys showed up at the clinic.” 

“Having a dog would be really handy.” 

“You barely take care of yourself,” Stevie replied. 

“Thanks.” He checked his watch. “I was supposed to be back at the shop thirty minutes ago so I’m going to keep Patrick company.” 

“I’m coming too,” Stevie said. 

“Fine, but we’re taking your car because I don’t feel like driving.” 

“Deal.” 

“I’ll send you guys a picture of the shirt before I wrap it,” Alexis commented. 

“Can’t wait,” David assured her before leaving, Stevie trailing behind him. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 

“This showed up for you,” Alexis said, gesturing toward a bouquet of flowers. 

“Really? When?” Ted asked. 

“Ummm a flower delivery boy brought it in as soon as you went on your lunch break.” 

“Is it from my secret admirer?” 

“No, it’s from Heather. There’s a-“ she gestured to the opposite side of the bouquet- “a little card.” 

“Oh.” 

Alexis noticed the disappointment in his voice, deciding now would be the perfect time to present him with her gift. “But your secret admirer did give me this to give you.” 

She handed him a thin square box, an envelope tied to the top with gauzy red ribbon. Opening the envelope first, Ted read the card aloud. “‘You’re paws-itively amazing. Pugs and kisses, your secret admirer’.” He chuckled at the puns, and Alexis grinned; she knew he’d like them. 

Carefully removing the lid, Ted’s smile grew even wider, something Alexis didn’t think was possible. “Trust me, I’m a dog-tor!” Beaming, he turned to her. “This is amazing.” 

“Your secret admirer seems like a good gift-giver,” she commented. 

He nodded, smile still stretched across his face. “I’m wearing this after work today, possibly for the rest of my life. I’ve got a good feline about this secret admirer.” 

“Oh, really?” 

“If only I knew who she was...” 

“Yeah-“ Alexis stuck out her lower lip- “that’s so sad.” 

“And you don’t know her name?” 

She shook her head. “She didn’t tell me.” 

“Hopefully next time I catch her sneaking my present in.” 

“You won’t.” 

“Why not?” 

“She’s like, super stealthy. She could be a ninja or something.” 

Before he could reply, a woman walked in, carrying her cat. “Hey, Buttercup,” Ted greeted the animal. 

A smile played at the corners of Alexis’s lips. He was so cute when he talked to the animals. Her heart pounded in her chest. Of course she’d develop actual feelings for him as soon as he got into a steady relationship. 

******************************************** 

As soon as she got off work, she headed to Rose Apothecary. She knew David would still be there; she could tell Stevie later. When she walked in, David, Patrick, and Stevie all stood around the checkout counter. “You’re both horrible people,” Patrick said, shaking his head. “That’s unbelievable.” 

“It is kind of believable though, isn’t it?” Stevie remarked. 

He frowned at her. 

“So what did you guys do this time?” Alexis asked, joining in the conversation. 

“Oh, okay, I had no idea you were coming by the shop today,” David said. 

“Yeah, I wanted to tell you guys about Ted’s reaction!” 

Five minutes later, both Stevie and David frowned at Alexis. Since Ted enjoyed her odd gifts, it wasn't funny anymore. “Isn’t that great?” Alexis asked. 

“I think it is,” Patrick said. 

David rolled his eyes. “I guess.” 

Alexis squealed. “I’m so excited to give him his next present!” 

“Let me guess, animal-themed?” Stevie deadpanned. 

Alexis nodded, pulling her phone out of her purse. Tapping into her photos, she showed them her next present. David stared at the screen. “What the fuck is that?” 

“A set of four mini cake molds shaped like cats.” 

“Neon pink? That’s a bold choice,” Stevie commented. 

“It’s the only color they came in,” Alexis explained. 

“Who the fuck makes neon pink mini cake molds shaped like cats?” David asked. 

“I think that’s a thoughtful gift,” Patrick cut in. 

“Yeah, he’s like into animals and baking so I found something that combines both of them.” 

“He’ll love it.” He looked at David. “Hopefully I get something that thoughtful on Valentine’s Day.” 

“I’ll buy you the cat cake molds since you like them so much,” David replied smugly. 

Patrick kissed David’s cheek. “You won’t because you love me. And if you do, I’m not giving you your gift.” 

David rolled his eyes as Stevie smirked at him. 

“Well, I have to go write another card. I’ll see you at home, David!” Alexis said. 

“I’m actually staying at Patrick’s tonight.” 

“Oh. Then I’ll see you whenever.” 

“Bye.” 

She waved at him before walking out the door and down the street. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 

Right before Alexis began her lunch break, she presented Ted with another gift. “Secret admirer,” she informed him. 

He nodded. Much like last time, he took the card from the top and read it aloud. “‘Roses are red, violets are blue, you’re a really great guy and life would suck without out you. -Your secret admirer’. She really likes her poems, huh?” 

“I guess she does. She seems like super creative in that way.” 

Ted laughed, shaking his head. “Very creative.” 

She pressed her lips together to keep from smiling. 

“Okay, let’s see what’s in the box,” Ted said. Opening it, he smiled. “Wow, little cake molds shaped like cats! And neon pink.” 

“They probably didn’t come in any other colors,” she quickly defended. 

“Well, I like them. I can decorate a bunch of cake cats now. They’ll be a hit with my friends.” 

“You can make like a little army of cat cakes.” 

“And I could give one to my secret admirer, if I knew who she is.” 

Alexis stuck out her bottom lip. “That sucks.” 

“And you don’t know her name?” Ted pressed. 

She played with a strand of her hair. “No, she never told me her name, just to get those gifts to you.” 

“Hm.” He made a show of checking his watch. “You should be on lunch break.” 

“Shit, right.” She gathered her purse. “I’ll see you in two hours.” 

“It’s thirty minutes.” 

“Whatever, it’s the same thing.” 

“No, it’s really not.” 

*************************************** 

An hour later, Alexis returned from lunch. Ted sat behind the desk in her chair, a gift bag in front of him. “This came for you. Seems like you have a secret admirer too.” 

She flipped her hair over one shoulder, striding over. “What did he look like?” 

Ted shrugged. “I was examining a guinea pig and when I finished, the bag was sitting there.” 

“Oh, it has a little letter and everything!” She tore open the envelope. “‘You octopi my thoughts and I’m quite fawned of you. I think I would make a koality boyfriend. -Your secret admirer’,” she read aloud. “So sweet.” 

Immediately, she moved on to the present. A smile stretched across her face as she pulled out her gift. “Oh my god, this is so cute!” She held her out gift- a light pink furry monkey holding a heart- for Ted to see. “And the heart says ‘I’m bananas for you’.” 

“Hmm, I wonder who got you that,” Ted pondered. 

She squeezed the monkey in a hug. “No idea but it’s like so cute.” 

He frowned. “Okay, who do you know that likes animal puns?” 

“You,” she answered, still fixated on the monkey. 

“So who would write a note with animal puns, then give you a stuffed animal with a pun on it?” 

“You,” she replied on impulse, not realizing what she was saying. 

“So your secret admirer is...?” 

“You.” She froze before slowly meeting his gaze. “You’re my secret admirer?” 

Ted nodded. “When I got the first present, I knew it was from you.” 

“How did you know it was from me?” 

“It-” he paused, searching for the right words- “the note was uniquely you.” 

“Aren’t you with Heather?” 

“I broke up with her two days ago.” 

“But the flowers-“ 

“She bought them and had them scheduled to be sent here before I broke up with her.” 

“And you knew it was me the entire time?” 

“I did.” 

Alexis stepped forward, wrapping Ted in a hug. “Stevie and David gave me the idea and I thought it wouldn’t work but-“ 

“I never got over you, Alexis,” he confessed. “I love you. It’s always been you.” 

“That’s the sweetest thing anyone’s ever said to me.” 

“Will you be my significant otter?” 

A smile played at the corner of her lips as she nodded. “Yes, I’ll be your significant otter.” 

He pressed a kiss to her lips. “You need to get back to work. I have a new patient, Fur Kensington, and his paperwork is on your desk,” he said as soon as they broke apart. 

“Ew.” 

“After I close up for the day, I’ll take you to a nice dinner, okay?” 

“Fine.” She sighed dramatically. 

He shook his head, smiling, before heading into his office. 

‘Guess who’s going to dinner with Ted tonight?’ she texted David since she didn’t have Stevie’s number. 

‘Heather?’ he replied. 

‘Ew, no. Me! Ted and I are back together!’ 

‘How?’ 

‘He liked my presents and he was still in love with me’ 

‘Okay he actually liked your presents though?’ 

‘Duh. He’s a vet and he loves animal puns. And he’s going to make me a little cat cake.’ 

‘Oh so he liked the little neon cats?’ 

‘Don’t act so surprised’ 

‘They’re neon fucking cats of course I’m surprised’ 

‘I don’t need your negativity right now,’ she texted back. 

Before he could type out his reply, she muted him and flipped her phone over. She had work to do before her date, and the sooner she finished filing paperwork, the sooner she could pick out an outfit. Glancing to the side, she spotted Ted through the glass, cleaning the bunny cage. She smiled; that handsome sweet man cleaning up after bunnies was her boyfriend. Not Heather’s, hers. 


End file.
